找到那把刷子／Find that brush
距离星巴克平安夜 special 关门还有约 1 个小时，看看能不能把酝酿了两天的这篇博文写一写。
It’s about an hour before Starbucks Christmas Eve special closing time. Let’s see if I can write this blog post that has been brewing in my mind for two days.
Warnings: attempt at being funny, paranoid, abuse of brackets, messy childhood memories
I am at the extreme end of procrastination spectrum. Although I was forced to complete a lot of things as a student, there are tasks under delay for several years, and even more that I had done the beginnings, and nothing further for weeks or months. Down to day-to-day scenarios: I am extremely, extremely prone to procrastinating at night wash-ups.
As a typical East Asian, I am used to taking shower before bed. However,
sleepiness exists, but taking-showeriness usually does not (which means
never). Everytime when tasks for the day came to an end and I am
supposed to sleep, I continued to poke around because I don’t want to
take my shower, and jump into some rabbit holes and find out it’s been
two hours. In addition, I always have difficulty falling asleep, so once
I start to delay taking the shower, it is almost impossible to sleep at
any “normal” time.
After successfully going to take a shower, the bigger problem is showering. First of all, I have been stuck in the dilemma of “not able to wash clean” and “not able to remove foam residue”. Second, it’s never sufficient to shower just by hand, but it is impossible to dry a towel so that it won’t mould. (Painful collective memory of Chinese southerners: it is never possible to dry anything in a day.) (There is no dryer back at my home in China. I witnessed the colour of my family’s face towel getting more and more weird, and sweared to myself that towel could only be used to wipe for drying.) My high school was residential, and the lights were turned off early everyday, so everyone used to rush to their showers. As soon as I moved into my university dormitory, I started to have issues with showering.
The same is true for teeth brushing. My biggest problem was that the toothpaste, the toothbrush, and the toothbrush cup could never coexist elegantly with the sink. When I was a kid, we had a few huge toothbrush mugs with hollow handles, so I could fit a toothbrush inside. However, the outlet hole for water in the mug handle was easily blocked by the toothbrush handle, and they were placed beside the shower head in the bath, so the handles were effectively test tubes. As a result, everyone’s toothbrush handles and the end of the mug handles were a little moulded. What’s worst is that my brain can’t idle (I have always suspected that I have mild ADHD), so when brushing teeth, my hands and my head were all shaking for three whole minutes, and I could do nothing else. It felt like in hell.
What improved my tooth brushing situation initially was the electric
toothbrush. When not in use, I can just place it on the charging stand,
take off its head and put it aside or hang it loosely on the motor
stick. Super fast to dry. And when brushing my teeth, my hands are
making a (almost) uniform motion, and the effort is negligible. At this
time, I might as well put an iPad in front of the mirror, wear a pair of
Bluetooth earphones, open a video or a podcast, and forget the fact
that I am brushing my teeth. I can even seamlessly transit from what I
was doing to brushing teeth. Ah, life.
Then when I came to Germany a year ago, I found this thing of vertical toothpaste (!). From then on, all the toothpaste tube and problems related to it disappeared. Disappeared. Ah, life.
目前已经有 1 位北京来的朋友听信我的谗言，发现了浴刷的好。希望大家都来用浴刷，the superior way to shower。
Back to shower. I haven’t solved my problem of not being able to go to
take a shower. Maybe a pair of waterproof earphones can be useful. (I
tried a month to take the shower in the morning. It’s not a problem that
my hair doesn’t dry, it is a problem that I had to wake up half an hour
earlier just for shower when I have early classes in the morning.)
(Yean, I just can’t bother to use a hair dryer.) However, once I move my
feet into the bathroom, the task of showering become a no-brainer,
thanks to another brush: a bath brush.
I have recommended it before, but I must say it again: I didn’t know that there was such a magical magical thing in the world until I wandered in Muji in Japan. Bath brushes, in particular: made out of pure artificial material, with long handles that can reach my back, and can be cleaned up like Scourgify with a spray of descaling foam. Now my showering routine is: (hair tied), turn on water, wash face, dip the brush with shower gel and brush the whole body including soles, untie hair, wash hair, turn off, wipe hair, tie hair, wipe body, and wear pajamas. Fast, perfect. Ah, life. Life!
Up til today, one (1) friend from Beijing has listened to my gibberish and found the goodness of the bath brush. Everyone, please, come and use the bath brush, the superior way to shower.
What is the moral of this article? If you are not a procrastinator, congratulations, keep it going. Merry Christmas.